1
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:15,030
<i>Toro! Toro! Aqui!</i>

2
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,389
<i>Go back to Washington
for another mission?</i>

3
00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:48,359
You must be mad.

4
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,360
I don't care

5
00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:51,860
if Professor Albert Paradine
wants to blow up the universe.

6
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,865
I'm not in that
business any more.

7
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,359
You don't mean that,
Mr. Gordon.

8
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,360
Oh, yes, I do.

9
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,869
I'm quite content
right where I am.

10
00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:01,369
Did you hear
that audience tonight?

11
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:03,369
They leaped to their feet,
roaring in approval.

12
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,339
Why, the air was so thick
with electricity,

13
00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,379
you could have cut it
with a knife.

14
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:10,320
Looked to me like they were
trying to tear you apart.

15
00:04:10,321 --> 00:04:13,879
Obviously, you're not
of the theatre.

16
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,880
That was adulation, my boy.

17
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,390
They were just totally caught up
in my performance.

18
00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:21,389
We're wasting time.

19
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,889
Good-bye, Joseph.

20
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,395
Remember me to Skinny Malone.

21
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:26,890
Would you reconsider
if Jim West agrees to come back?

22
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,799
He'll never do it.
What if he does?

23
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,229
He gave me his word.

24
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:32,735
He swore to me the Loveless
case was going to be his last.

25
00:04:32,736 --> 00:04:35,230
"I only signed on for
one pipsqueak," he said.

26
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,200
You couldn't get him to
leave his Mexican paradise

27
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,509
if you begged him
on bended knee.

28
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:39,779
But what if we do?

29
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,779
Joseph...

30
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,779
if you can get James West
to agree to come back,

31
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,279
I'll come back, too,
without a murmur.

32
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,779
Fair enough?

33
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,280
Mr. Gordon, you've got a deal.

34
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,789
Fair enough.

35
00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:53,790
Bye, Joseph.

36
00:04:58,290 --> 00:05:00,560
Never in a million years.

37
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,460
Shoot! Shoot!

38
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:08,470
Kill him!

39
00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:16,210
Come on, kill him. Shoot!

40
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,640
Shoot, man, shoot.
I'm trying.

41
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,990
Shoot, man, shoot!

42
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,290
Uh, Mr. West?

43
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,299
I'm Edward Jensen, United
States Secret Service.

44
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,800
I'm here at the behest
of Robert T. Malone,

45
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,639
head of the Secret Service.

46
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,910
Seems as though there's another
madman loose on the world.

47
00:05:41,911 --> 00:05:43,330
Director Malone said

48
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,839
you might have
certain reservations

49
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,239
about taking another assignment.

50
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,050
Means risking your life.

51
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:49,400
You got it.

52
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,810
Uh, risking your life.

53
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,819
You got an extra horse?

54
00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:59,220
Yeah, sure.
It's out back.

55
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,630
I'll come with you.

56
00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:09,070
Get! Get! Get!

57
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,720
Artie.

58
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,219
I am not talking to you.

59
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,719
Well, that's a fine
how-do-you-do.

60
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,720
I thought
you'd be happy to see me.

61
00:06:32,721 --> 00:06:34,719
You swore to me, you
gave me your word,

62
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,219
the Loveless case was
going to be our last.

63
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,720
"Never again," you said.

64
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,129
"I love it too much down
there in Mexico." I do.

65
00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:41,536
Well, then, why
aren't you down there?

66
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,390
Why'd you let somebody talk
you into coming up here?

67
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,769
Same reason you let someone
talk you into coming up here...

68
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,140
Our flag.

69
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,310
What?!

70
00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:50,600
Our flag, Artie.

71
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,610
Our country needs us.

72
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:52,939
Not that bad.

73
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,909
It'll be like old times.

74
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:57,380
The two of us on another one.

75
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,779
And as for you...

76
00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:01,285
You are the most contemptible,

77
00:07:01,286 --> 00:07:04,780
lowest, deceitful, treacherous,
disordered, malignant...

78
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,319
You want to add anything?

79
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,796
No, I think you
covered it all, Artie.

80
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:09,319
Artie always did have
a way with words.

81
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,520
Pusillanimous double-crosser
I've ever known in my life.

82
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,329
Putting ill feelings aside,

83
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:15,770
I'm asking you to come back
and help your country.

84
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,669
See?

85
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,170
I am retired.

86
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:22,169
Artemus Gordon, ex-agent
of the Secret Service,

87
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,509
incommunicado, finis.

88
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,809
Remember Addison?

89
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,309
Quit a year ago?

90
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:29,309
Wrote a very successful book
on his days in the Service.

91
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:31,315
There happen
to be a lot of people

92
00:07:31,316 --> 00:07:33,670
who think our adventures
are titillating.

93
00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:36,019
<i>Our adventures?</i>

94
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,520
How did he get into this act?

95
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,519
Outside of going
to and from work,

96
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,525
you've never been out
from behind this desk.

97
00:07:41,526 --> 00:07:44,020
This madman... now, what
does he want, Skinny?

98
00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:47,529
If we knew that,
what would I need you two for?

99
00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:50,029
All we know is that
after killing his four brothers,

100
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:53,039
he just upped and vanished
into thin air,

101
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,039
only to have just
recently reappeared

102
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,539
somewhere in the vicinity
of the Western states.

103
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:01,539
Our agents think
around the vicinity

104
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,939
of Parsons Ridge, Nevada.

105
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:04,840
Well, you've got plenty
of young agents

106
00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:06,349
actively in the Service.

107
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,620
Why two old sagging retirees?

108
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,460
I bet you can't give me
one good reason...

109
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,220
How about, we could get killed?

110
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,490
I said a <i>good reason.</i>

111
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,729
What do you want us to do?

112
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,529
Go to Parsons Ridge, Nevada

113
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,429
and find out
what A.P. Two is up to.

114
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:21,330
Who?

115
00:08:21,331 --> 00:08:24,140
Albert Paradine II.

116
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,929
Then stop it instantly.

117
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,399
Put a stop to what?

118
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,360
Whatever it is A.P...

119
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:33,379
Albert Paradine II is up to.

120
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,379
I've had your private train
refurbished.

121
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,350
It's on a siding
in the train yards

122
00:08:37,710 --> 00:08:40,210
steamed up, ready to go.

123
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,149
Funny, I don't
remember saying yes.

124
00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:46,519
Well, the world may be
on the verge of blowing up,

125
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,290
but by all means,
take all the time you need.

126
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,459
I need a stiff drink.

127
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,865
No, what you need is
to get into shape

128
00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:57,290
in our new fitness room.

129
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,199
Fitness room?

130
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,200
What fitness room?

131
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,610
Have you two been away
that long?

132
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:05,600
President Harrison is a nut
for fitness.

133
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:08,145
Runs around his Oval Office
all day long.

134
00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:10,640
He's set up a rigorous
training program

135
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,109
for all our agents.

136
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:14,010
Rigorous?
Rigorous?

137
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,920
Very.

138
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,169
I should have known better.

139
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,670
My Great Aunt Maude
always said to me,

140
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,140
"Artemus," she said,

141
00:10:10,141 --> 00:10:12,639
"never hitch your wagon to another
man's star." Artie, are you...

142
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,145
"You never know where the dingy
bang fool may want to go."

143
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:16,640
Artie, are you trying to tell me

144
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,410
the only reason
you're here is because of me?

145
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:21,185
Who ever dreamed you'd want
to go back into the Service?

146
00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,640
I had my own repertory company,

147
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:25,160
where I could write and
star in my own plays,

148
00:10:25,161 --> 00:10:27,650
full control over
the leading lady,

149
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,659
the adulation of the
crowds, and because you...

150
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,200
because you don't
have the strength

151
00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:35,190
or willpower to say
no, I have to wind up

152
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,530
being dragged away from a...

153
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:59,319
You were saying something
about being dragged away?

154
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,259
Who are these guys?

155
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,259
Get him!

156
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:06,200
What's the matter with you?

157
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,600
Juanita.

158
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,939
Hup! That's him there.

159
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:19,939
I never saw this man
before in my life.

160
00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:27,679
Pricely-Thomas bicycle.

161
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,580
Do you two know how lucky
you are running into me?

162
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,150
Why, you may have
the one Pricely-Thomas

163
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,810
that's worth $3,000.

164
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,625
Congratulations,
you lucky winners.

165
00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:37,420
Now you stay right
there, will you?

166
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,430
Now, don't go away.

167
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,429
Give me a push for
this thing, will you?

168
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:41,929
Thank you very much, sir.

169
00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:43,429
Bye-bye.

170
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,609
Come on, Jim.

171
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:55,109
Hop on.

172
00:11:58,610 --> 00:11:59,610
Wait a minute.

173
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:02,079
That's why you wanted
to leave town, wasn't it?

174
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,580
Artie, for God's sakes, pedal.

175
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:05,590
Not another foot
until you tell me

176
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:08,089
who that Juanita is
and why she's trying to kill us.

177
00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:09,589
Artie, not now.

178
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,829
Let's get the train and
get out of town, please.

179
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,479
I never thought the
day would come

180
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,515
when I'd be railroaded
out of town.

181
00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:33,470
Could have been worse, Artie.

182
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,519
We could have been
carried out of town,

183
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,519
on the back of Juanita's wagon.

184
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,489
Oh, yes, while we're on that,

185
00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:43,529
would you care to tell me now

186
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,529
who this Juanita is?

187
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,529
Juanita.

188
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,530
Uh-huh. Oh,
I just met her a little while ago.

189
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,529
And that bunch that's with her?

190
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:52,530
Just angry brothers.

191
00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:54,470
I never met them
before, and Artie,

192
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:56,570
you know I never want
to meet them again.

193
00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:58,540
That I believe.

194
00:12:58,970 --> 00:13:00,470
Well, we seem to
have shaken 'em.

195
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,979
For now.

196
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,479
Where are we headed?

197
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,200
Parsons Ridge and have
a little look around.

198
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,550
Well, since we've obviously
accepted the assignment,

199
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:10,290
don't you think we ought
to wire Skinny and let him know?

200
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:12,019
No, I think when he realizes

201
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,960
this train's missing,
he'll know.

202
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,350
That fathead will think
someone stole it.

203
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,300
Nah, Artie, he'll put
two and two together.

204
00:13:18,301 --> 00:13:20,290
I sure hope so.

205
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,799
Every time Skinny's put two
and two together before,

206
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,000
he came up with seven.

207
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:08,970
Welcome, gentlemen,

208
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:10,780
welcome to Parsons Ridge.

209
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,549
I'm Professor Albert
Paradine II,

210
00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:18,560
but you can call me Al.

211
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,490
Artie,

212
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,059
he's the spitting image
of his father.

213
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,900
Remarkable.

214
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,729
Well, I should imagine

215
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:30,570
that you're a bit thirsty
after your long journey.

216
00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:32,170
Yes.

217
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,539
Mmm.

218
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,539
Perhaps you would care
for some champagne?

219
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:38,039
I have some six bottles on ice
over at the Daisy Saloon.

220
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,010
Should we saunter over there?

221
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,509
Great idea.

222
00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,509
Just a minute.

223
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:44,520
How did you know the exact
time we'd arrive here?

224
00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:45,840
Jim, champagne.

225
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,179
I knew the exact time

226
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,180
that you were leaving
Washington, D.C.

227
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,660
and every movement
after that I knew.

228
00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:54,650
Yes, I know why you're here

229
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:55,960
and what you're looking for.

230
00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:01,129
Shall we have some champagne,
gentlemen?

231
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,000
Champagne, Jim.

232
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,089
Did you kill your four brothers?

233
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,349
Yes.

234
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,880
Yes, I did.

235
00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:29,889
Why?

236
00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:33,389
They were a disgrace
to the Paradine name.

237
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:37,390
Suddenly became honest,
decent, God-fearing men.

238
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,299
They had to go.

239
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,210
You know, from what we
know of your father,

240
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:43,700
I'd say

241
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,539
you're a slice off the
old Paradine fruitcake.

242
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:47,379
For starters,

243
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:51,850
I intend to dominate
the entire world.

244
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:54,620
New and fresh point of
view for a madman.

245
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,449
Nothing as brilliant
as my predecessors.

246
00:15:58,450 --> 00:15:59,410
Understand?

247
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,159
Have you come up
with something new?

248
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,419
Not new.

249
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:06,920
Something as old
as mankind itself.

250
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:09,929
Man's will

251
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,929
to destroy himself!

252
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,430
I shall pit one major power

253
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,439
against the other-

254
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,409
devastation,
complete annihilation.

255
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:21,909
When the ground cools

256
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,880
and the smoke clears,

257
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,850
I'm sure there'll
be some survivors,

258
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:29,850
helpless, that will be mine!

259
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,850
I shall call this World War I,

260
00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:40,359
then if need be,
we'll have a World War II.

261
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,829
That way I can keep them
straight in my mind.

262
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:45,799
You want to take him with us,

263
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,810
or would you rather just slap
his wrist and send him home?

264
00:16:47,811 --> 00:16:50,800
I think you'll find either one

265
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,809
infinitely more difficult
than the other.

266
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:57,309
I shall leave you gentlemen-

267
00:16:57,310 --> 00:17:00,320
in a most unusual manner.

268
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:08,889
I'm still here, gentlemen.

269
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:11,159
My advice to you is go
back to Washington

270
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,930
and report to Mr. Malone

271
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:17,529
how impractical
his order is to stop me.

272
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,340
Well, I must be shoving off,
gentlemen.

273
00:17:19,341 --> 00:17:22,100
Well, toodaloo.

274
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,009
Out of the way.

275
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,180
Coming through.

276
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,180
Oh, Myrtle,

277
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,220
God has been good to you.

278
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,760
Ladies, has Professor Paradine

279
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,250
ever disappeared before?

280
00:17:40,251 --> 00:17:42,250
Oh, sure, he does it
all the time

281
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:43,560
to make the girls nervous.

282
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,400
To make the girls nervous?

283
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:46,890
When you can't see a man,

284
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,390
he's liable to be
in all sorts of places

285
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,899
where men aren't supposed to be.

286
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,899
Frightening.
Shocking.

287
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:07,949
What was that?

288
00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:10,420
That's just Albert
playing with his bombs.

289
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:32,339
All right, so he can
become invisible

290
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,839
whenever he wants to.

291
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,839
How does that threaten
the peace of the world?

292
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,840
Skinny, think about this
for one moment... invisible.

293
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,849
That means
that this man can walk

294
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:41,530
into the office of any leader
of any nation

295
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,740
and listen to everything,

296
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,690
everything that is said
in the War Council,

297
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:47,610
and report back that pertinent
information to the enemy.

298
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,630
And, Skinny, we haven't
even begun to talk

299
00:18:49,631 --> 00:18:51,820
about that bomb he's testing.

300
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:52,830
We've talked enough!

301
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,299
Into action.

302
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,260
What are you two doing
sitting here in Washington?

303
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,790
Where should we be sitting?

304
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,635
You shouldn't be sitting
anywhere.

305
00:18:59,636 --> 00:19:01,090
You already should be in action.

306
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,540
Doing what?

307
00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:04,439
Doing what you're
being paid to do...

308
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,880
Protecting this country.

309
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:07,240
This is war.

310
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:08,780
I want you on that train

311
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,840
heading back for Nevada
within the hour.

312
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,280
Skinny, I think...

313
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:14,779
Not talk, action,
action, not talk.

314
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:17,780
Back to Nevada within the hour.

315
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,289
War.

316
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:22,289
Most men couldn't face it,

317
00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:23,789
but at my age,

318
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:26,300
with a bad back
and four young children,

319
00:19:26,301 --> 00:19:28,290
ha, ha, not a chance.

320
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:40,509
2,400 miles there,
2,400 miles back.

321
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,509
And how long do you think

322
00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:44,009
that meeting with Skinny took?

323
00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:45,509
I'd say two minutes.

324
00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:46,510
Two minutes.

325
00:19:46,511 --> 00:19:49,010
And how encouraged
were you by his attitude?

326
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,519
I'd say Skinny doesn't
care much what happens

327
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,019
so long as it doesn't
happen to Skinny.

328
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,020
Exactly.

329
00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:55,530
Top of the morning, gentlemen!

330
00:19:55,531 --> 00:19:57,019
You remember me,

331
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,350
Colonel Sir David Edney,
British Intelligence.

332
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:01,150
I remember <i>Captain Edney.</i>

333
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,169
Ah, yes, well,
in our organization,

334
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,699
the best of us rise
to the top very rapidly.

335
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,710
Edney, what are you doing
on our train?

336
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,669
Well, I'm afraid I've been
riding in the engine

337
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,839
since we left Washington.

338
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,900
Riding the engine?

339
00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:18,179
You mean, you bribed Casey?

340
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:20,209
Ah, so that's his name.

341
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:23,140
He refused to give me
any information whatsoever.

342
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,549
No, I didn't bribe him.

343
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:28,050
I simply convinced Casey

344
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,059
that when faced
with a common danger,

345
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:35,559
good allies should
cooperate with each other...

346
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,059
and, uh, he cooperated.

347
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,069
Are you in this
country legally, Edney?

348
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,069
This time?

349
00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:43,910
Yes, this time
I think I'm legal.

350
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:45,409
What are you doing here?

351
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,479
Why, what I'm always doing,
serving Her Majesty,

352
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,479
looking after the interests
of the Empire.

353
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,479
It's quite a plan

354
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,979
this Professor Paradine has,
isn't it, huh?

355
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,100
But we simply can't have it.

356
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,920
No, no, I checked with every
sector of our government

357
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,680
and Britain simply
isn't interested

358
00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:03,259
in a world war
at this particular moment.

359
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:08,829
Nor shall we be interested
until August 1914, I believe,

360
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:11,100
give or take a fortnight
here or there.

361
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,939
Kill him!
Kill James West!

362
00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:21,380
Kill him!

363
00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:31,290
Full steam ahead!

364
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:32,919
What?!

365
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,790
Full steam ahead!

366
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:36,090
What?!

367
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:42,429
Kill him!

368
00:21:42,430 --> 00:21:44,430
Kill James West!

369
00:21:56,610 --> 00:21:58,149
Kill Jim West!

370
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:02,650
Kill him! Kill him!

371
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,630
What in the hell was that?

372
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,359
Tell him.

373
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,629
A personal matter.

374
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:21,130
A personal matter.

375
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:24,139
Well, my life happens
to be very personal, to <i>me.</i>

376
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,140
Tell me, chappie,

377
00:22:25,141 --> 00:22:27,540
does it involve that girl
with the sword?

378
00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:30,310
Sort of.

379
00:22:30,311 --> 00:22:33,179
Her Majesty didn't send me
all the way over here

380
00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:35,685
to get involved in someone
else's personal affairs.

381
00:22:35,686 --> 00:22:37,179
If I had been killed today,

382
00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:39,180
it wouldn't have been
in the line of duty.

383
00:22:39,190 --> 00:22:41,189
It would have been a very
serious blot on my record.

384
00:22:41,190 --> 00:22:42,960
So you see,
it <i>is my business, West.</i>

385
00:22:43,190 --> 00:22:46,195
Edney, I have every inclination
to pull that cord,

386
00:22:46,196 --> 00:22:48,259
stop this train,
and throw you off

387
00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,760
and see how long an Englishman
can survive out there

388
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:52,569
with the Gila monsters
and cactus.

389
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:56,839
An Englishman could survive
on those things you mentioned

390
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,339
for as long as was necessary
for an Englishman

391
00:22:59,340 --> 00:23:01,309
to survive on those things
you mentioned.

392
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:03,845
If you want to survive
on this train,

393
00:23:03,846 --> 00:23:05,609
you just stay out of my sight.

394
00:23:05,610 --> 00:23:08,879
Oh. Well, in that case,
if you'll excuse me, gentlemen,

395
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,880
I think I shall rejoin Casey...

396
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,890
up front.

397
00:23:17,890 --> 00:23:20,900
Artie, that man could start
the Revolution all over

398
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,700
just by himself.

399
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:58,669
Hello, Colonel.

400
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,610
Gentlemen, my assistant,
Miss Mirabelle Merriwether.

401
00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:03,110
Hello, ma'am.

402
00:24:03,111 --> 00:24:05,669
Isn't she entitled
to know who we are?

403
00:24:05,670 --> 00:24:08,170
Uh, Mirabelle, may I present

404
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,679
Mr. West
and Mr. Gordon?

405
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:10,680
How do you do?
Howdy.

406
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:11,680
Have you managed

407
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,650
to contact Professor Paradine?

408
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:15,579
Yes, he's at the Daisy Saloon
right now,

409
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:18,950
and he invited us all
for a dash of champagne.

410
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,310
Oh.

411
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,396
But how on earth did he
know we were coming?

412
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:25,289
There's very little that
escapes him, I assure you.

413
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:28,590
Inviting us for champagne
is rather odd behavior

414
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,099
for a man who's
wanted by the police

415
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,000
in four countries,
wouldn't you say, West?

416
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:35,369
Considering that he's
a certifiable lunatic?

417
00:24:35,370 --> 00:24:37,170
No, I don't think that's odd.

418
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,509
I have found Professor Paradine

419
00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:42,780
roly-poly and rather charming.

420
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,979
Don't be deceived,
Miss Merriwether.

421
00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:47,549
Under that "charming"
and "roly-poly" skull

422
00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:50,049
lies the twisted mind
of a demented madman,

423
00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:53,019
a dangerous, demented madman.

424
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:56,989
To British Intelligence
and Miss Mirabelle Merriwether,

425
00:24:56,990 --> 00:25:00,000
truly a lovely opponent
as a man ever had.

426
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:03,029
You know, this is all
terribly charming,

427
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:04,529
Professor Paradine, but
I'm afraid I'm going

428
00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:06,535
to have to spoil
your little party.

429
00:25:06,536 --> 00:25:08,530
This man is wanted in my country

430
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,039
for the murder of
a British citizen.

431
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,039
I'm ordering the two
of you to place him

432
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,040
under arrest, take him
back to Washington

433
00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:14,539
so that your government
can hand him over

434
00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:16,539
to my government so that
we can take him back

435
00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:17,540
to London for a proper hanging.

436
00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:19,049
You're ordering us?

437
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:21,549
Aren't you just a little
out of your jurisdiction?

438
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:23,049
Oh.

439
00:25:23,050 --> 00:25:25,549
Well, uh, since you
refuse to comply,

440
00:25:25,550 --> 00:25:26,550
I'm afraid I shall have

441
00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:28,050
to place him under
arrest myself.

442
00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:32,059
Oh, please do, Colonel Edney,
place me under arrest.

443
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,559
As you see, I haven't my men
about the room.

444
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,470
I don't need any.

445
00:25:35,471 --> 00:25:38,860
Oh, well, in that case,

446
00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:41,869
Professor Albert Paradine II,

447
00:25:41,870 --> 00:25:42,870
I hereby place you under arrest

448
00:25:42,871 --> 00:25:45,180
for the murder
of Winston Paradine.

449
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:47,540
Bye-bye.

450
00:25:48,951 --> 00:25:51,240
Colonel Edney, over here.

451
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,579
You tried to kill me.

452
00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:59,080
Definite breach of hospitality.

453
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,589
I want all of you-understand?

454
00:26:00,590 --> 00:26:03,360
Off my territory
within 24 hours.

455
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,559
When did Nevada secede
from the Union?

456
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,529
Everything I control is mine.

457
00:26:08,530 --> 00:26:11,529
Everything within 100 miles
of any direction is mine.

458
00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:13,535
Her Majesty
will not be toyed with.

459
00:26:13,536 --> 00:26:15,360
We'll bring in troops
if necessary.

460
00:26:15,370 --> 00:26:17,739
You still think
we're a colony, don't you?

461
00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:19,739
Listen, Edney,
if any troops are needed,

462
00:26:19,740 --> 00:26:21,239
we'll bring in
our own, thank you.

463
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,745
Look here, I'm not
at all satisfied

464
00:26:22,746 --> 00:26:24,240
with the way this
is being handled.

465
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:26,749
I intend to file a formal
complaint with your king.

466
00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:27,750
What?
Uh, president.

467
00:26:27,751 --> 00:26:30,249
You file away, and see
how much good it does you.

468
00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:32,020
You see, it was so simple.

469
00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:33,789
I could very well
have started a war

470
00:26:33,790 --> 00:26:36,789
with England and America,
no problem at all.

471
00:26:38,690 --> 00:26:39,920
Whoa!

472
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,570
Say, that <i>was a wall banger.</i>

473
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,250
Now, let me warn you,

474
00:26:56,580 --> 00:26:58,149
no more fooling about.

475
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,549
If there are any problems
from here on out,

476
00:27:00,550 --> 00:27:02,449
bring them to my place.

477
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:03,949
How do we get to your place?

478
00:27:03,950 --> 00:27:06,889
Simple: little signs
in the desert.

479
00:27:06,890 --> 00:27:09,359
A.P. II, I just want you
to know one thing.

480
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,859
As far as all of us
are concerned,

481
00:27:11,860 --> 00:27:16,729
you're just another demented
antisocial madman.

482
00:27:16,730 --> 00:27:18,599
Wrong.

483
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,070
Antisocial <i>sane madman.</i>

484
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,339
<i>Ciao, ciao, bambinos.</i>

485
00:27:29,310 --> 00:27:30,809
Professor!

486
00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:32,820
Professor.

487
00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:35,979
Out of the way.

488
00:27:35,980 --> 00:27:38,010
Coming through.

489
00:27:43,890 --> 00:27:45,329
From now on,
gentlemen, I suggest

490
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,829
we pursue a separate
course of action.

491
00:27:46,830 --> 00:27:48,329
I wouldn't want you
mucking things up

492
00:27:48,330 --> 00:27:49,330
any more than you already have.

493
00:27:49,331 --> 00:27:51,329
<i>Us mucking things up?</i>

494
00:27:51,330 --> 00:27:52,806
You're the biggest
mucker I've ever known.

495
00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:53,830
Come, Mirabelle.

496
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,840
What's a mucker?

497
00:28:17,090 --> 00:28:18,600
Come.

498
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:23,899
Mr. Secretary,

499
00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:25,699
you wanted to see me?

500
00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:28,039
Malone.

501
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,369
I have here a stern
letter of protest

502
00:28:31,370 --> 00:28:34,809
from the British government
regarding our handling

503
00:28:34,810 --> 00:28:36,709
of the Professor Paradine case.

504
00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:41,049
Forgive me for sounding
stupid, Dr. Messenger,

505
00:28:41,050 --> 00:28:44,350
but how would they know
how it's being handled?

506
00:28:45,150 --> 00:28:47,680
They got a report
from one of their...

507
00:28:47,690 --> 00:28:49,159
agents.

508
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:54,559
British agents? Operating
openly in <i>our country?</i>

509
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:59,999
After first consulting
with me, and, of course

510
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,999
the permission of the...

511
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
the president.

512
00:29:04,001 --> 00:29:06,000
Malone,

513
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:09,509
the queen herself
has contacted me now,

514
00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:15,519
which makes this whole mess
extremely embarrassing.

515
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,319
What in the hell is going on
out there in Nevada?

516
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,959
Why, nothing sir, as far
as I know, nothing at all.

517
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,289
We do have two agents out there,

518
00:29:24,290 --> 00:29:25,729
don't we?

519
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,729
Yes, sir, James West
and Artemus Gordon,

520
00:29:28,730 --> 00:29:30,229
two of our best men,

521
00:29:30,230 --> 00:29:34,739
brought them out of retirement
especially for this job.

522
00:29:34,740 --> 00:29:37,210
Personally, I can't stand
either of 'em, but...

523
00:29:37,211 --> 00:29:42,170
With two of our
best men out there,

524
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:44,679
shouldn't something
be happening?

525
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:45,680
Hmm?

526
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,619
I see what you mean.

527
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,190
Yes.

528
00:29:52,550 --> 00:29:54,610
That's very good, Doctor.

529
00:29:54,620 --> 00:29:56,619
Why do they call you Doctor?

530
00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:58,050
Malone,

531
00:29:58,390 --> 00:30:03,459
I know Professor Albert
Paradine personally,

532
00:30:03,460 --> 00:30:06,460
and if the second is
anything like the first,

533
00:30:06,470 --> 00:30:10,969
this world is in grave danger.

534
00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:12,880
I want you to go out
to Nevada and take charge

535
00:30:12,881 --> 00:30:14,870
of the situation personally.

536
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,879
But... Your pardon, sir,

537
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,180
I haven't worked
in the field for years.

538
00:30:19,410 --> 00:30:20,470
I want you to leave immediately

539
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,479
and wind this thing up.

540
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,440
Send me daily reports.

541
00:30:24,450 --> 00:30:25,760
Get out there, Malone.

542
00:30:25,761 --> 00:30:28,410
Take command.

543
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,080
Take command.

544
00:30:30,390 --> 00:30:31,790
Sir!

545
00:30:46,810 --> 00:30:51,309
Check... Malone's

546
00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:53,750
stability.

547
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,619
You're sure we're headed
in the right direction?

548
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:58,119
That's the way the sign pointed.

549
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,119
Well, we aren't going in
a straight line, then,

550
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,130
or you read the sign
wrong or something.

551
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,160
You were saying?

552
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,670
Oh, shut up.

553
00:31:12,630 --> 00:31:14,630
Are you sure we haven't
gone four miles yet?

554
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,639
I swear it feels like
twice the distance.

555
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,639
Aw, it just seems that way.

556
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,921
When you get older, half the
distance takes twice as long.

557
00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:22,139
Thanks a lot.

558
00:31:22,140 --> 00:31:23,140
Let me ask you,

559
00:31:23,141 --> 00:31:25,640
once we get there,
what are we gonna do?

560
00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:27,649
Try and force A.P. II
into making a move.

561
00:31:27,650 --> 00:31:28,650
James.

562
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,189
Say we manage to arrest
Professor Paradine

563
00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:32,690
and we bring him in for trial,

564
00:31:33,190 --> 00:31:35,489
and the judge says, "What are
the charges against this man?"

565
00:31:35,490 --> 00:31:38,795
and we have to say, "He's
plotting to start a world war

566
00:31:38,796 --> 00:31:41,190
involving all the nations
on the face of the earth,"

567
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,629
and he says, "Oh?

568
00:31:42,630 --> 00:31:44,629
How do you know that
he's plotting to do that?

569
00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:47,129
And we say,
"Because he told us."

570
00:31:47,130 --> 00:31:49,630
Well, the judge has gotta
look at us kind of funny,

571
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,139
and he says, "Did he tell you

572
00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:52,639
how he was gonna
manage to do this?"

573
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,639
So we say, "Well, he can
make himself invisible

574
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:56,640
any time he wants to."

575
00:31:56,980 --> 00:31:58,549
The judge says,
"Oh, did he tell you

576
00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:00,049
"that he can make
himself invisible

577
00:32:00,050 --> 00:32:01,050
whenever he wants to?"

578
00:32:01,051 --> 00:32:04,820
and we say, "No,
we saw him do it."

579
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,589
Now, James, let me
ask you one question.

580
00:32:08,590 --> 00:32:11,089
Of all the people
in that courtroom,

581
00:32:11,090 --> 00:32:13,959
who do you think the judge
is gonna put behind bars?

582
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,759
Finished?

583
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,560
Yes.

584
00:32:17,870 --> 00:32:18,870
Let's go.

585
00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:35,350
What is it?

586
00:32:35,850 --> 00:32:36,850
Oasis?

587
00:32:36,851 --> 00:32:38,250
Mirage.

588
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:45,089
Or the most elaborate
trap ever devised by man.

589
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:46,100
Hyah!

590
00:33:07,010 --> 00:33:09,479
There's something weird and
unreal about this place.

591
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,480
Looks like fun to me.

592
00:33:10,481 --> 00:33:12,480
Check your horses, sir?

593
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:13,960
What?

594
00:33:15,390 --> 00:33:17,830
Come on, deal, deal!

595
00:33:40,510 --> 00:33:42,010
Okay. Come on. Come on.

596
00:33:58,270 --> 00:33:59,270
Call it, call it!

597
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:01,640
Five card Charlie.

598
00:34:06,370 --> 00:34:09,340
Well, there's one act
I'm going to be sure to miss.

599
00:34:09,710 --> 00:34:11,209
Mr. West.

600
00:34:11,210 --> 00:34:12,279
Mr. Gordon.

601
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,280
Welcome.

602
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,280
A bit late, aren't you?

603
00:34:14,281 --> 00:34:16,279
About an hour and a
half. Been dawdling.

604
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,280
That's neither here nor there.

605
00:34:17,281 --> 00:34:20,280
What do you think of my
big, wonderful enterprise?

606
00:34:20,290 --> 00:34:24,289
I can't think of a single
moneymaker you've missed.

607
00:34:24,290 --> 00:34:25,800
Where do all these
people come from?

608
00:34:25,801 --> 00:34:28,790
Oh, they come from
all over the world.

609
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,299
Yes, must be something
in this Nevada air

610
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,299
that's conducive to gambling.

611
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,305
Yes, they have
their wagon trains

612
00:34:37,306 --> 00:34:39,730
and they get off for
an hour and a half.

613
00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:41,809
Then they go on ahead by foot.

614
00:34:41,810 --> 00:34:44,749
I suppose they'd
pledge their wives

615
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,749
if I had a use for them.

616
00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:50,220
With all this, why do you
want to conquer the world?

617
00:34:50,580 --> 00:34:52,649
It's part of the
Paradine tradition

618
00:34:52,650 --> 00:34:55,150
to want to conquer the world.

619
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,930
It's in the Paradine blood.

620
00:34:56,931 --> 00:35:00,650
To ask a Paradine <i>not
to conquer the world</i>

621
00:35:00,660 --> 00:35:03,559
is like asking a baby not to cry

622
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,929
or a typhoon
to be in a quiet corner.

623
00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:08,860
Would you excuse us
for a minute?

624
00:35:08,870 --> 00:35:09,899
Yes.

625
00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:10,900
Artie...

626
00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:15,909
Let's stop this charade
and arrest that guy.

627
00:35:15,910 --> 00:35:16,910
On what charges?

628
00:35:16,911 --> 00:35:19,409
He's talking treachery.

629
00:35:19,410 --> 00:35:21,410
Well, that's freedom
of speech, James,

630
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:23,419
the number one guarantee
of the Constitution.

631
00:35:23,420 --> 00:35:24,919
Murder.

632
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,419
Artie, the man has admitted

633
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:27,919
killing his four brothers.

634
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,389
Is that an empty boast
or a confession?

635
00:35:29,390 --> 00:35:31,290
You know, without
evidence... nothing.

636
00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:34,130
Jennifer.

637
00:35:40,070 --> 00:35:42,439
The bomb, Artie.

638
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,939
The bomb is a threat
to our national security.

639
00:35:44,940 --> 00:35:47,939
Out here?
In the middle of nowhere?

640
00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:48,945
We'd have to catch him

641
00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:50,900
in the act of planting
it somewhere important.

642
00:35:52,310 --> 00:35:55,340
Gentlemen, all this
pontificating

643
00:35:55,350 --> 00:35:58,849
about these false charges
and my arrest.

644
00:35:58,850 --> 00:36:01,319
Some goodies for you...
Five-dollar chips,

645
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,319
on the house, so to speak.

646
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,820
Have yourself a good time.

647
00:36:07,130 --> 00:36:08,200
Adios.

648
00:36:11,260 --> 00:36:14,830
Well, since we can't
arrest him anyway...

649
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,839
You know, for years, I've
been working on a system

650
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,339
for beating that wheel
of fortune,

651
00:36:18,340 --> 00:36:20,340
but I've never had enough
of somebody else's money.

652
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,339
Here, run amok.

653
00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:25,840
Well, thank you, James.

654
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:26,850
I think I will.

655
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,349
And around and around she goes,

656
00:36:31,350 --> 00:36:34,360
and where she stops,
nobody knows.

657
00:36:37,020 --> 00:36:38,450
Eleven!

658
00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:50,269
Let it ride, Artie.

659
00:36:50,270 --> 00:36:51,769
Yeah, that's not the system.

660
00:36:51,770 --> 00:36:55,779
We move it to 18,
seven digits up.

661
00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:57,779
Let it go now.

662
00:36:57,780 --> 00:36:59,209
Okay, away we go.

663
00:36:59,210 --> 00:37:01,540
Around and around
and around she goes.

664
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,919
Come on, 18. It's got to work.

665
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,000
It's a seven-point removal.

666
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,749
Come on,

667
00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:10,380
18, 18, 18!

668
00:37:10,390 --> 00:37:12,330
Hey,
the gentleman's a winner again.

669
00:37:14,630 --> 00:37:16,499
13, down here.

670
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,029
Number 13, okay.
Number 13.

671
00:37:18,030 --> 00:37:21,000
Artie, I don't see
any pattern to your system.

672
00:37:21,370 --> 00:37:22,839
Of course you don't.
Why should you?

673
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,210
I'll add this.

674
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:27,700
We take one off of each
of four off the tops.

675
00:37:27,710 --> 00:37:28,710
And let it ride.

676
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:38,380
Number 11.
I did it again!

677
00:37:39,890 --> 00:37:40,790
A winner, a winner.

678
00:37:40,791 --> 00:37:43,030
- Gentleman is a winner.
- Oh, I love it.

679
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:46,289
Excuse me. Will you
explain your system to me?

680
00:37:46,290 --> 00:37:47,290
You mean now?

681
00:37:47,291 --> 00:37:48,906
Lady, you got a better
chance of buying a share

682
00:37:48,930 --> 00:37:50,130
in the United States Treasury.

683
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,499
Oh, but I'm not interested
in your money.

684
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:53,899
I'm interested in your mind.

685
00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:56,269
Oh...

686
00:37:56,270 --> 00:37:59,269
Oh, well, you see,
there's a key.

687
00:37:59,270 --> 00:38:00,270
To opening up your mind?

688
00:38:00,271 --> 00:38:02,270
No, no, no, to opening
up the betting.

689
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,150
You got to lay it
all on the line.

690
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,009
I know exactly what you mean.

691
00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:07,010
You must ask yourself,

692
00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:08,610
"What's at stake here?"

693
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,049
Exactly, and what's at stake
is the whole bank,

694
00:38:11,050 --> 00:38:14,049
and I'm going to break it
right now. Just watch me.

695
00:38:14,050 --> 00:38:15,050
Put it...

696
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:17,589
Sorry, sir, the wheel is closed.

697
00:38:17,590 --> 00:38:19,089
What?!

698
00:38:19,090 --> 00:38:20,990
Professor Paradine's
orders, sir. Sorry.

699
00:38:21,290 --> 00:38:22,359
Why, that is...

700
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,320
You're going to leave me
with just this pittance?

701
00:38:24,330 --> 00:38:26,269
That is absolutely unethical,

702
00:38:26,270 --> 00:38:27,629
absolutely unethical,

703
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:28,460
unsportsmanlike.

704
00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:29,969
Worse, I've never heard of it.

705
00:38:29,970 --> 00:38:31,469
I've never heard of it
in my life.

706
00:38:31,470 --> 00:38:33,469
Artie, come on. I think
the bribe is big enough.

707
00:38:33,470 --> 00:38:34,470
Bribe?

708
00:38:34,471 --> 00:38:35,800
Put that in my bag.

709
00:38:35,810 --> 00:38:37,639
What are you talking about?

710
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,140
I just proved my
system is infallible.

711
00:38:40,150 --> 00:38:44,149
Artie, you've been in dreamland.

712
00:38:44,150 --> 00:38:46,660
You're trying to tell me that that
wheel was rigged in our favor?

713
00:38:46,661 --> 00:38:49,650
Will the sun come up tomorrow?

714
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,659
Well, it still doesn't prove

715
00:38:51,660 --> 00:38:53,159
that my system isn't infallible.

716
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,160
Good.

717
00:38:54,161 --> 00:38:56,165
Don't try it with
your money, Artie.

718
00:38:56,166 --> 00:38:57,490
Gentlemen.

719
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:01,340
Well, I see we've
won some money.

720
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,839
Artie did all right.

721
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,839
Not bad, considering
the likes of this place.

722
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,839
Yes. How much do you think
you've got there?

723
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,350
I really don't know.
I haven't counted it yet.

724
00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:15,840
I'd have to say between
$10,000 and $15,000.

725
00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:21,349
Maybe closer to $15,000

726
00:39:21,350 --> 00:39:22,350
right off the top.

727
00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:27,729
Hmm, $15,000 sounds like
a nice round figure.

728
00:39:27,730 --> 00:39:29,229
I should imagine
that would enhance

729
00:39:29,230 --> 00:39:31,229
your careers considerably.

730
00:39:31,230 --> 00:39:32,729
Oh, and incidentally,

731
00:39:32,730 --> 00:39:36,730
a simple letter to Mr. Malone
in regard to your resignation...

732
00:39:36,740 --> 00:39:39,140
I should think
that would cap it.

733
00:39:40,610 --> 00:39:41,910
Well?

734
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:47,110
Well, let's count the chips.

735
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:48,949
Very well.

736
00:39:48,950 --> 00:39:51,949
Join me in my office, if you...

737
00:39:51,950 --> 00:39:52,949
Let's go this way.

738
00:39:52,950 --> 00:39:53,950
Follow me here.

739
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,900
Good morning,
my little pussycat...

740
00:40:16,910 --> 00:40:20,409
pussycats.

741
00:40:20,410 --> 00:40:21,670
Ah, yes,

742
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,919
my lovely little tigers:
Tabby, Rabby and Shabby.

743
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,919
Found 'em in India.

744
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,430
Personally came across them.

745
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,406
That's neither here
nor there, gentlemen.

746
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,959
Have you finished
counting your chips yet?

747
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,470
I never started.

748
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:40,969
Artie, let's not even tell him

749
00:40:40,970 --> 00:40:44,970
what the penalty is for trying
to bribe federal agents.

750
00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:55,149
The mind boggles at what
I'm going to do to you next

751
00:40:55,150 --> 00:40:58,450
for your rotten,
incredible, stupid act.

752
00:41:12,270 --> 00:41:14,829
Look, gentlemen.

753
00:41:14,830 --> 00:41:17,830
Yes, the Abominable Brothers.

754
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,839
Found them where?

755
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,180
Northern Himalayas.

756
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:35,459
Does Animal Regulations
know those two are loose?

757
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,459
Well, from the looks of them,
they could be rabid.

758
00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:38,959
He ought to give 'em shots.

759
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,300
I'll give 'em a shot.

760
00:41:51,740 --> 00:41:53,340
Artie, are you just
going to stand there?

761
00:41:53,410 --> 00:41:54,969
If I'm smart, yes.

762
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,180
Come on, Artie, let's take 'em.

763
00:42:08,590 --> 00:42:11,659
Well, gentlemen, I wonder
if you'll be kind enough

764
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:15,659
to take our guests to
a most uncomfortable area.

765
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,100
Oh, yes, I'm sure your view
from up there

766
00:43:00,110 --> 00:43:03,080
will give you a different
perspective on things, hmm?

767
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,039
I doubt it.

768
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,370
You know, you both have been
a great disappointment to me.

769
00:43:07,810 --> 00:43:11,880
Yes, you've provided me
with nothing in regard

770
00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:15,790
to a challenge... something
I could get my teeth into.

771
00:43:20,830 --> 00:43:22,899
Here I slipped
a little noose for you,

772
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:24,399
and your necks went into it.

773
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:25,899
What a shame.

774
00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:26,900
You know, gentlemen,

775
00:43:26,901 --> 00:43:30,899
I'm at my very best
when I'm under pressure.

776
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:32,400
Hmm.

777
00:43:32,410 --> 00:43:35,279
Incidentally, I shall be going
to Washington tomorrow

778
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,349
to see your own good
friend, Dr. Messenger,

779
00:43:39,350 --> 00:43:41,849
who's in charge
of the peace conference.

780
00:43:41,850 --> 00:43:43,849
Washington?

781
00:43:43,850 --> 00:43:47,349
Didn't know the conference
was being held in Washington.

782
00:43:47,350 --> 00:43:49,310
Skinny didn't say anything
about any conference.

783
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,760
Perhaps the most important
in this half-century.

784
00:43:53,090 --> 00:43:55,990
Well, we haven't been
briefed on world news lately.

785
00:43:56,260 --> 00:43:57,820
Makes no difference.

786
00:43:57,830 --> 00:44:00,329
Once the conference is over,

787
00:44:00,330 --> 00:44:02,330
then of course,
one-half the world

788
00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:05,339
will be at war
with the other half.

789
00:44:05,340 --> 00:44:08,210
Then, hopefully,
total holocaust...

790
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,409
if not something similar to it,

791
00:44:13,410 --> 00:44:15,570
watered down, perhaps.

792
00:44:15,780 --> 00:44:18,349
Meantime, gentlemen,
I bid you adieu.

793
00:44:18,350 --> 00:44:23,360
Ta-ta for now, and have
an agonizing time of it.

794
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:29,350
Artie.
Hmm?

795
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:33,869
When I get my hands
on that cuckoo,

796
00:44:33,870 --> 00:44:38,369
I'm going to make him eat
every word, word at a time.

797
00:44:38,370 --> 00:44:40,869
He wants opposition,
does he, huh?

798
00:44:40,870 --> 00:44:43,370
I'll be very happy to oblige.

799
00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:46,380
James, I've got an idea.

800
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,399
Mr. Malone,
what a great honor this is.

801
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,899
Who are you?

802
00:45:39,900 --> 00:45:43,399
Professor Albert Paradine II,

803
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,900
the person you've come
such a long way to see.

804
00:45:45,910 --> 00:45:48,180
How did you know who I am?

805
00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,939
Oh, come now, Mr. Malone.

806
00:45:50,940 --> 00:45:52,909
Everybody knows who you are.

807
00:45:52,910 --> 00:45:55,440
The brilliant Robert Malone,

808
00:45:55,450 --> 00:45:56,719
head of the United States

809
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:58,049
Secret Service.

810
00:45:58,050 --> 00:46:00,420
Not everyone is
supposed to know!

811
00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:04,289
Undercover this time,
eh, Mr. Malone?

812
00:46:04,290 --> 00:46:06,789
Your secret is safe with me.

813
00:46:06,790 --> 00:46:08,289
Shall we go inside the palace?

814
00:46:08,290 --> 00:46:10,090
You look a bit dusty and tired.

815
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:13,869
Some of my experts
there will revive you.

816
00:46:13,870 --> 00:46:17,770
You're not exactly what I was
expecting, Professor Paradine.

817
00:46:18,070 --> 00:46:20,139
You, on the other hand,

818
00:46:20,140 --> 00:46:21,940
are exactly what
I was expecting,

819
00:46:22,210 --> 00:46:27,120
eagle-eyed and fearless.

820
00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:56,339
This is excellent bubbly,
Professor Paradine.

821
00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:58,100
Thank you.

822
00:46:58,110 --> 00:46:59,880
From my vineyards
in northern California.

823
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:04,149
I'm trying to locate two old
friends of mine, Professor Paradine.

824
00:47:04,150 --> 00:47:05,649
Yes, and their names?

825
00:47:05,650 --> 00:47:07,519
James West and Artemus Gordon.

826
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,390
Would they be Agents

827
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,329
West and Gordon?

828
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:15,799
Well, yes, I guess you
could call them that.

829
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:17,730
You know where they are?

830
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,169
I know exactly where they are.

831
00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:21,500
They're on a fishing trip.

832
00:47:21,770 --> 00:47:23,670
A fishing trip?!

833
00:47:23,940 --> 00:47:27,509
Well, you see,
in this whole entire area

834
00:47:27,510 --> 00:47:30,009
there are some lovely
cold streams

835
00:47:30,010 --> 00:47:32,479
filled with rainbow trout.

836
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,000
Chances are they are fishing for
those trout just north of here.

837
00:47:35,150 --> 00:47:37,720
But they're supposed
to be on assignment.

838
00:47:38,150 --> 00:47:39,719
Yes, I understand that.

839
00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:42,219
I'd like to put your mind
at ease, if I may.

840
00:47:42,220 --> 00:47:43,689
It... it's Skinny,
isn't it?

841
00:47:43,690 --> 00:47:45,230
Do you mind if
I call you Skinny?

842
00:47:45,730 --> 00:47:46,730
If you want to.

843
00:47:46,990 --> 00:47:51,059
Well, you see,
Agents West and Gordon

844
00:47:51,060 --> 00:47:52,929
would hardly go off
on a fishing trip

845
00:47:52,930 --> 00:47:56,830
had it not been the fact that
they were completely at ease

846
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:58,339
with regard to these...

847
00:47:58,340 --> 00:48:01,339
dreadful charges against me.

848
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:04,110
Why would I murder my brothers?

849
00:48:04,310 --> 00:48:08,379
I would never murder them
because I loved them!

850
00:48:08,380 --> 00:48:09,849
Brothers.

851
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:16,880
I will find that fiendish ghoul

852
00:48:16,890 --> 00:48:19,789
who is responsible
for their deaths.

853
00:48:19,790 --> 00:48:22,089
Off on a fishing trip.

854
00:48:22,090 --> 00:48:25,020
Yes. You should
have seen them.

855
00:48:25,030 --> 00:48:28,529
Little rods over their
shoulders, can of worms,

856
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:31,860
skipping along with not
a thing on their tiny minds.

857
00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:35,080
Well, why didn't they report
in to me before they left?

858
00:48:35,340 --> 00:48:36,909
Perhaps you...
you could meet them.

859
00:48:36,910 --> 00:48:38,879
I could arrange it so
that you could join them.

860
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,109
I hate fishing.

861
00:48:41,110 --> 00:48:46,650
Then please remain here
as my guest.

862
00:48:46,850 --> 00:48:49,280
Yvonne and Daphne, I'm sure,
will take care of you,

863
00:48:49,290 --> 00:48:51,189
and I'm sure they would

864
00:48:51,190 --> 00:48:53,130
give you <i>anything
that you would need.</i>

865
00:48:54,590 --> 00:48:56,460
Anything.

866
00:49:00,230 --> 00:49:03,230
Why don't you sit down, girls?

867
00:49:06,740 --> 00:49:08,239
Now, girls, I'd like you

868
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:12,579
to try and think of me
as approximately your own age.

869
00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:25,020
Mmm! Bravo! Bravo!

870
00:50:25,450 --> 00:50:26,490
<i>¡Magnifico!</i>

871
00:50:26,990 --> 00:50:28,460
So you like the circus.

872
00:50:28,820 --> 00:50:31,189
Well, Mr. West, you
took advantage of me.

873
00:50:31,190 --> 00:50:33,830
This is my chance to play
a little game with you.

874
00:50:45,670 --> 00:50:49,709
Mr. West, let's
make a deal.

875
00:50:49,710 --> 00:50:51,209
You have a little choice here.

876
00:50:51,210 --> 00:50:53,215
What's behind the red curtain,

877
00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:55,210
what's behind the green curtain,

878
00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:56,990
or what's in the basket?

879
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,560
Just take your time.
Time's up!

880
00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:06,490
The basket.

881
00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:09,399
Very good.

882
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:10,400
Yes, you see,
because if you had chosen

883
00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:13,770
what's behind the curtain,
instantly dead!

884
00:51:14,030 --> 00:51:15,590
This way, what's in the basket

885
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:19,109
will be painfully,
slowly, horrible death.

886
00:51:21,170 --> 00:51:24,239
Take Mr. West to the
Snake Pit Lounge.

887
00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:25,740
Quickly!

888
00:53:51,990 --> 00:53:53,989
Ladies and gentlemen,

889
00:53:53,990 --> 00:53:56,990
while this snake
is still in a trance,

890
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:03,499
I am going to convert
the ropes binding this man

891
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:07,500
into serpents which
will helplessly slither

892
00:54:07,510 --> 00:54:10,009
off of his hands,
leaving him free.

893
00:54:10,010 --> 00:54:12,009
For this, I will need

894
00:54:12,010 --> 00:54:15,009
at least two
very strong volunteers.

895
00:54:15,010 --> 00:54:17,010
Two volun...
How about you two?

896
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:19,019
You look perfect for the...
You look strong enough.

897
00:54:19,020 --> 00:54:21,020
Come, come. Don't be shy.
Come over. Come over.

898
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,019
Will you hold my flute?

899
00:54:23,020 --> 00:54:24,519
Thank you.

900
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,520
Would you take the ropes
off of this gentleman here?

901
00:54:27,530 --> 00:54:28,530
Because those are
the ones I will need

902
00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:31,029
to turn into serpents.
Thank you.

903
00:54:31,030 --> 00:54:32,030
Ladies and gentlemen,

904
00:54:32,031 --> 00:54:35,029
to prove that this is
not merely a question

905
00:54:35,030 --> 00:54:37,530
of the magic of my flute,

906
00:54:37,540 --> 00:54:38,540
I am going to show you

907
00:54:38,740 --> 00:54:40,239
it is a matter of concentration.

908
00:54:40,240 --> 00:54:41,710
Sit on your knees,
gentlemen, please.

909
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,609
It is only by the mind
that it is...

910
00:54:44,610 --> 00:54:46,080
Put your hands behind you,
please...

911
00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:49,480
capable of changing the rope

912
00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:54,189
into serpents,
which will slither off of your hands

913
00:54:54,190 --> 00:54:56,559
and leave you totally free.

914
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,060
Close your eyes, please,
and concentrate.

915
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,829
Now, try the ropes.

916
00:55:00,830 --> 00:55:03,099
Are they strong?

917
00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:05,099
Do they still feel like ropes?

918
00:55:05,100 --> 00:55:07,599
You cannot break them?

919
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,100
Let's go.

920
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:26,980
Hyah!

921
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,729
How did you manage
to get Gunga Din

922
00:55:35,730 --> 00:55:37,229
to switch places with you?

923
00:55:37,230 --> 00:55:38,729
Oh, he's an old stage buddy.

924
00:55:38,730 --> 00:55:40,735
We used to play
summer stock back East.

925
00:55:40,736 --> 00:55:42,730
His real name is Phil Liebowitz.

926
00:55:42,740 --> 00:55:44,739
I didn't know you knew how

927
00:55:44,740 --> 00:55:45,740
to play the flute, Artie.

928
00:55:45,741 --> 00:55:47,239
I don't.

929
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:49,080
Just faked it.

930
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,940
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

931
00:56:09,230 --> 00:56:11,299
I knew he wouldn't
let us get away with it.

932
00:56:11,300 --> 00:56:12,769
That's not A.P. II.

933
00:56:12,770 --> 00:56:14,299
It's Juanita.

934
00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:15,800
What makes you so sure?

935
00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:19,269
Because I just saw her
peering over that rock.

936
00:56:19,270 --> 00:56:21,640
Get him! Shoot! Shoot!

937
00:56:26,910 --> 00:56:29,470
Kill him! Jim!

938
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,450
Shoot! Shoot!

939
00:56:34,090 --> 00:56:35,660
How many brothers does she have?

940
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:37,659
I don't know, but she's
got a lot of cousins.

941
00:56:37,660 --> 00:56:39,629
She's becoming a big pain.

942
00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:40,659
You can say that again.

943
00:56:40,660 --> 00:56:42,159
I'm sick of having
that woman shooting at me.

944
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,665
You should have taken care
of this before you left Mexico.

945
00:56:44,666 --> 00:56:46,160
That's why I left Mexico.

946
00:56:46,170 --> 00:56:47,170
She was shooting at me.

947
00:56:47,171 --> 00:56:49,669
Oh. Oh. Oh.

948
00:56:49,670 --> 00:56:51,669
Now... now it finally
comes out, huh?

949
00:56:51,670 --> 00:56:53,169
I knew it all along.

950
00:56:53,170 --> 00:56:56,179
Well, I am not going to die
for somebody else's affair.

951
00:56:56,180 --> 00:56:58,950
It wasn't an affair.
I was drunk.

952
00:57:05,450 --> 00:57:09,519
All right, see if you
can keep her pinned down.

953
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,990
I'm going to go
around from behind.

954
00:58:04,110 --> 00:58:07,109
That's not ladylike.

955
00:58:07,110 --> 00:58:10,110
Now, you stop this
or you're going to make me mad.

956
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:14,119
Now, Juanita,
what is this all about?

957
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,130
Because of you,
Juanita had to turn down the governor,

958
00:58:17,131 --> 00:58:19,420
who wanted to make her his wife.

959
00:58:19,690 --> 00:58:21,759
That's what this is all about.

960
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,259
That's why
you've been chasing me

961
00:58:23,260 --> 00:58:24,729
all over the countryside,
shooting at us.

962
00:58:24,730 --> 00:58:27,699
Nobody walks out on Juanita

963
00:58:27,700 --> 00:58:30,039
after she turns
the governor down.

964
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,809
I never told you
to turn the governor down!

965
00:58:32,810 --> 00:58:35,669
You don't love Juanita.

966
00:58:35,670 --> 00:58:38,170
It's very difficult
loving a woman

967
00:58:38,180 --> 00:58:39,709
that's always shooting at you.

968
00:58:39,710 --> 00:58:42,180
Oh, Juanita's very sorry.

969
00:58:42,550 --> 00:58:44,619
Then tell your brothers
and your cousins

970
00:58:44,620 --> 00:58:45,590
to quit shooting at us.

971
00:58:45,591 --> 00:58:50,480
<i>¡Basta, mis hermanos!</i>

972
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:18,179
Now, Juanita, why can't you
be like this all the time?

973
00:59:18,180 --> 00:59:21,180
Oh, Juanita feels
like this all the time.

974
00:59:21,190 --> 00:59:25,190
It's... it's just that
sometimes she wants to kill you.

975
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,069
We've got a priority
on everything

976
00:59:35,070 --> 00:59:36,569
from here to Washington.

977
00:59:36,570 --> 00:59:38,569
There is no way that A.P. II
can beat us there

978
00:59:38,570 --> 00:59:40,569
unless he can fly.

979
00:59:40,570 --> 00:59:41,570
Well, just in case he can,

980
00:59:41,571 --> 00:59:45,070
let's get started
right away, all right?

981
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:46,580
Well.

982
00:59:48,580 --> 00:59:50,079
Well, hello.

983
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,085
I was afraid you two were dead.

984
00:59:52,086 --> 00:59:54,080
Skinny, what are you doing here?

985
00:59:54,090 --> 00:59:55,589
Getting out from behind my desk.

986
00:59:55,590 --> 00:59:57,589
Taking command.

987
00:59:57,590 --> 01:00:00,989
It was the Secretary
of State's idea... order.

988
01:00:00,990 --> 01:00:02,790
How long have you
been here, Skinny?

989
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:06,170
Long enough to find out that
something smells in Denmark.

990
01:00:06,670 --> 01:00:09,169
Professor Paradine II
tried to convince me

991
01:00:09,170 --> 01:00:12,169
you were off on a fishing trip.

992
01:00:12,170 --> 01:00:16,180
Somebody must have told him
that I'm not too bright.

993
01:00:16,610 --> 01:00:18,510
Say what you want to
about the fella,

994
01:00:18,780 --> 01:00:21,680
he really knows
how to entertain a visitor.

995
01:00:21,950 --> 01:00:24,819
Skinny, he's on his way
to Washington right now.

996
01:00:24,820 --> 01:00:26,549
Why is he on his way
to Washington?

997
01:00:26,550 --> 01:00:28,860
He wants to abort
the conference there.

998
01:00:28,861 --> 01:00:31,019
What conference?

999
01:00:31,020 --> 01:00:34,289
The peace conference, the one
that our Secretary of State,

1000
01:00:34,290 --> 01:00:36,020
Dr. Messenger,
is presiding over.

1001
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:38,365
How come as head
of the Secret Service,

1002
01:00:38,366 --> 01:00:39,760
I'm always kept in the dark

1003
01:00:39,770 --> 01:00:41,469
about these things?!

1004
01:00:41,470 --> 01:00:44,439
Say, I ran into that fellow
from British Intelligence,

1005
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:46,170
Sir, uh, Colonel, uh, somebody.

1006
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,440
Colonel Sir David Edney.

1007
01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:49,880
Yeah, that's the one.
What was he doing?

1008
01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:52,379
He was leaving Parsons Ridge
in quite a huff,

1009
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:55,379
off to file another complaint
with his government, I suppose.

1010
01:00:55,380 --> 01:00:58,720
What did you two say to him
that made him so upset?

1011
01:00:58,980 --> 01:01:02,049
Nothing. We were just pointing
out his shortcomings to him...

1012
01:01:02,050 --> 01:01:03,410
Will you look at that!

1013
01:01:03,420 --> 01:01:06,290
It's one of those
hot-air balloons.

1014
01:01:08,690 --> 01:01:11,159
You know, you may
think I'm crazy,

1015
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:14,160
but I tell you, one day they're
gonna be flying those things

1016
01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:17,669
from the Atlantic to the
Pacific on a regular schedule.

1017
01:01:17,670 --> 01:01:19,169
I think you're crazy.

1018
01:01:19,170 --> 01:01:20,680
So do I.

1019
01:01:42,830 --> 01:01:45,859
Oh, what a lovely, lovely day

1020
01:01:45,860 --> 01:01:48,360
to be up in this lovely balloon.

1021
01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:49,869
My child.

1022
01:01:49,870 --> 01:01:52,899
Sweet of you to pour this.

1023
01:01:52,900 --> 01:01:54,400
Mm, mm.

1024
01:01:55,410 --> 01:01:56,910
Bless you, my dear.

1025
01:01:57,410 --> 01:01:58,909
Professor!

1026
01:01:58,910 --> 01:02:02,379
Naughty,
naughty, naughty, naughty.

1027
01:02:02,380 --> 01:02:03,879
Oh.

1028
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,410
Yvonne, what do we see?

1029
01:02:06,420 --> 01:02:07,920
Steady as she goes.

1030
01:02:08,890 --> 01:02:10,890
Professor!

1031
01:02:51,900 --> 01:02:53,699
Isn't that funny?

1032
01:02:53,700 --> 01:02:55,969
You can go for years without
seeing a hot-air balloon,

1033
01:02:55,970 --> 01:02:57,969
and all of a sudden
they're everywhere.

1034
01:02:57,970 --> 01:02:59,469
Looks like the same one to me.

1035
01:02:59,470 --> 01:03:00,969
Well, how <i>could it be?</i>

1036
01:03:00,970 --> 01:03:02,400
We left that one back in Nevada.

1037
01:03:09,410 --> 01:03:11,840
Yes... my dear.

1038
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:16,420
Just think, I'll be the...

1039
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:19,425
the first man to cross
the country by air.

1040
01:03:19,426 --> 01:03:21,920
I wonder how history
will describe it?

1041
01:03:21,930 --> 01:03:24,929
"Clear-Eyed Pioneer
of the Upper Atmosphere."

1042
01:03:24,930 --> 01:03:29,429
Or... "Lone Grey Eagle
of the Hot-Air Set."

1043
01:03:29,430 --> 01:03:31,360
Pedal faster, Daphne!

1044
01:03:37,010 --> 01:03:41,009
The peace conference
will be sabotaged

1045
01:03:41,010 --> 01:03:43,009
by an un-visible man?

1046
01:03:43,010 --> 01:03:45,010
Why weren't we the first

1047
01:03:45,020 --> 01:03:48,519
to develop un-visibility?

1048
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,519
Have you noticed anything...

1049
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:53,529
strange going on?

1050
01:03:53,530 --> 01:03:54,530
Strange?

1051
01:03:54,531 --> 01:03:56,029
Peculiar.

1052
01:03:56,030 --> 01:03:59,029
Out of the ordinary.

1053
01:03:59,030 --> 01:04:00,529
Well, there have been

1054
01:04:00,530 --> 01:04:03,540
some out-of-the-ordinary
things happening.

1055
01:04:03,970 --> 01:04:05,440
What kinds of things?

1056
01:04:05,770 --> 01:04:07,339
Um...

1057
01:04:07,340 --> 01:04:11,339
secret documents disappearing
from hotel rooms,

1058
01:04:11,340 --> 01:04:14,340
the mysterious slapping
of the Austrian delegate

1059
01:04:14,350 --> 01:04:16,349
by the French delegate...

1060
01:04:16,350 --> 01:04:19,750
who swears he was across
the room when it happened.

1061
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:22,520
He's here.

1062
01:04:22,790 --> 01:04:26,359
However you choose to proceed
in this matter,

1063
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:31,359
don't forget for one moment
that I am running the show.

1064
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,860
This peace conference
is to be my moment.

1065
01:04:37,370 --> 01:04:39,909
Just how do you choose
to proceed?

1066
01:04:39,910 --> 01:04:41,475
The first thing's for me to get

1067
01:04:41,476 --> 01:04:44,070
inside that peace conference
as a delegate.

1068
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,639
Mm.

1069
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:47,540
When did we decide that?

1070
01:04:47,850 --> 01:04:50,920
Obviously one of us has to work
from the inside at all times.

1071
01:04:51,420 --> 01:04:54,419
And I'm sure that we can
feel free to call on you

1072
01:04:54,420 --> 01:04:56,759
for anything we might
need, Mr. Secretary?

1073
01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:58,319
Nah-ah.

1074
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,820
You can feel free to call me
Dr. Henry if you like.

1075
01:05:02,831 --> 01:05:05,259
Just don't call me Doc.

1076
01:05:05,260 --> 01:05:08,329
You understand
why I sent Director Malone

1077
01:05:08,330 --> 01:05:12,099
as far away
from Washington as possible?

1078
01:05:12,100 --> 01:05:13,900
No, sir. Why?

1079
01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:16,479
Because in the inner circles,

1080
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,450
he is what is known as
<i>eine grosse Pfuscher.</i>

1081
01:05:21,910 --> 01:05:23,979
<i>Pfuscher.</i>

1082
01:05:23,980 --> 01:05:26,480
<i>Pfuscher, Pfuscher, Pfuscher.</i>

1083
01:05:26,490 --> 01:05:27,989
He's a big bungler.

1084
01:05:33,260 --> 01:05:35,329
Well, gentlemen...

1085
01:05:35,330 --> 01:05:36,730
go away.

1086
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,830
Artie, I think he
might just be able

1087
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:49,839
to pull this
disarmament thing off.

1088
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:53,850
If he just doesn't trip
over his own ego along the way.

1089
01:06:08,990 --> 01:06:10,490
Artie?
Yes.

1090
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:11,999
I have your credentials.

1091
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,470
Oh, thank you.
Perfect forgery.

1092
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,499
I know... I did it myself.

1093
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,510
You're the Ambassador
of Lichtenstein.

1094
01:06:18,511 --> 01:06:20,000
Lichtenstein.

1095
01:06:20,010 --> 01:06:22,509
A direct descendant
of the Earl of Lichtenstein.

1096
01:06:22,510 --> 01:06:24,509
Ah, yes.
An officer in the war.

1097
01:06:24,510 --> 01:06:27,009
Oh. You were wounded in combat.

1098
01:06:27,010 --> 01:06:28,509
Wounded in combat.

1099
01:06:28,510 --> 01:06:32,010
And you still have a piece
of lead in your leg.

1100
01:06:32,020 --> 01:06:33,519
Piece of lead in the leg.

1101
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:35,019
Which causes a slight limp.

1102
01:06:35,020 --> 01:06:37,519
A slight limp, yes.

1103
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:39,519
Which side did I fight on?

1104
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,020
Pick one.

1105
01:06:41,030 --> 01:06:43,529
I fought with the English,

1106
01:06:43,530 --> 01:06:47,529
French, Sardinians and Turks
against the Russians.

1107
01:06:47,530 --> 01:06:50,030
And now you fight for peace.

1108
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,039
For peace.

1109
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:53,539
Good-bye.

1110
01:06:53,540 --> 01:06:56,039
Artie, we'll keep in touch
through Dr. Messenger.

1111
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,039
Very good.
Artie.

1112
01:06:58,040 --> 01:06:59,040
Hm?

1113
01:07:03,050 --> 01:07:05,049
Sorry.

1114
01:07:05,050 --> 01:07:06,550
For peace.

1115
01:07:24,700 --> 01:07:26,700
Thank you. Thanks.

1116
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:42,220
Morning, Mr. Gordon.

1117
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:43,720
Good morning.

1118
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,429
He comes around the corner
dressed exactly like me,

1119
01:07:52,430 --> 01:07:55,435
he's got on mutton chops and
a moustache, exactly like me,

1120
01:07:55,436 --> 01:07:58,430
and as he passes me, he says,
"Good morning, Mr. Gordon."

1121
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,939
Like a fat fool,
I said, "Good morning,"

1122
01:08:00,940 --> 01:08:02,439
and I walked right past him.

1123
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,950
I could have grabbed him there,
and, visible or invisible,

1124
01:08:04,951 --> 01:08:06,470
we would have had him.

1125
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:08,320
He must have penetrated
your disguise.

1126
01:08:08,580 --> 01:08:10,149
Penetrated?

1127
01:08:10,150 --> 01:08:12,420
He duplicated it, that copycat!

1128
01:08:12,620 --> 01:08:13,950
You had to be mortified.

1129
01:08:14,250 --> 01:08:16,310
I wasn't mortified;
girls get mortified.

1130
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:19,159
I was just mad that
I hadn't decked him, that's all.

1131
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:23,599
Well... well, so much
for working from the inside.

1132
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,099
Got any other ideas?

1133
01:08:25,100 --> 01:08:26,599
'Course.

1134
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,099
Well, fire away.

1135
01:08:28,100 --> 01:08:30,599
Two tickets to the
peace conference,

1136
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,110
the spectators gallery.

1137
01:08:32,111 --> 01:08:34,600
A.P. II is bound
to be there.

1138
01:08:34,610 --> 01:08:36,609
You know, all those
years of soft living

1139
01:08:36,610 --> 01:08:38,109
must have dulled our senses.

1140
01:08:38,110 --> 01:08:39,380
In the old days,

1141
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:41,709
no one would have seen
through your disguise.

1142
01:08:41,710 --> 01:08:44,710
Wait a minute.

1143
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:46,719
He didn't see
through my disguise;

1144
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,520
he was right here when I did it.

1145
01:08:53,860 --> 01:08:55,830
Let's get out of here.

1146
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:04,869
Gentlemen.

1147
01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:07,369
Gentlemen.

1148
01:09:07,370 --> 01:09:09,380
Gentlemen!

1149
01:09:09,381 --> 01:09:13,270
Meeting will come to order!

1150
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:17,149
Any sign of him?

1151
01:09:17,150 --> 01:09:19,079
Nothing that <i>I can see.</i>

1152
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:21,010
Gentlemen!

1153
01:09:25,820 --> 01:09:28,289
This meeting will come to order.

1154
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:33,999
<i>Schnell!
Hah?</i>

1155
01:09:44,010 --> 01:09:47,780
Dr. Messenger,
before you do this...

1156
01:09:48,010 --> 01:09:50,910
the Russian delegation
would like to ask

1157
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:53,490
the German delegation
a question.

1158
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:55,649
Why?

1159
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:58,519
To determine whether
the Russian government

1160
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:03,320
intends to remain for
the duration of this conference.

1161
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:07,969
Yes, mm, mm. Yes.

1162
01:10:07,970 --> 01:10:12,869
The Russian government
would like to know

1163
01:10:12,870 --> 01:10:17,780
why the German government
has 3,000 combat troops

1164
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:20,949
stationed in Cuba at
this particular time.

1165
01:10:20,950 --> 01:10:22,709
Where is Cuba?

1166
01:10:22,710 --> 01:10:24,510
Where is it?

1167
01:10:28,620 --> 01:10:31,430
The German government denies

1168
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:35,829
categorically that there are
any German troops in Cuba.

1169
01:10:35,830 --> 01:10:39,299
Besides, uh,
those troops are in Cuba

1170
01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:41,799
for training purposes only.

1171
01:10:43,230 --> 01:10:45,599
Gentlemen...

1172
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:50,100
if anyone has
any combat troops anywhere,

1173
01:10:50,110 --> 01:10:53,109
this is of vital concern
to the United States.

1174
01:10:53,110 --> 01:10:56,949
I hasten to remind you all
of our Monroe Doctrine. Mm-hmm.

1175
01:10:56,950 --> 01:10:59,590
Eh, Monroe?

1176
01:10:59,780 --> 01:11:02,310
Once again, I must ask:

1177
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:05,260
Why 3,000 German troops
in Cuba?!

1178
01:11:05,620 --> 01:11:09,689
Once again,
as the rulers of Cuba,

1179
01:11:09,690 --> 01:11:13,690
I state that those
4,000 troops are in Cuba

1180
01:11:13,700 --> 01:11:16,699
for training purposes only.

1181
01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:18,540
Shut up, fool!
Ah!

1182
01:11:18,770 --> 01:11:21,680
The Spanish
government orders the Germans

1183
01:11:21,681 --> 01:11:24,740
to get its 5,000 troops
out of Cuba

1184
01:11:24,980 --> 01:11:27,549
within the next 30 days!

1185
01:11:27,550 --> 01:11:30,049
It is 6,000 troops, Ah!

1186
01:11:30,050 --> 01:11:34,019
And we will keep them in
Cuba as long as we like! Ah!

1187
01:11:34,020 --> 01:11:37,059
The German government invites
the Russian government

1188
01:11:37,060 --> 01:11:42,529
to station 6,000 troops
in Cuba alongside our own.

1189
01:11:47,030 --> 01:11:49,540
In which case,
the Russian government

1190
01:11:49,541 --> 01:11:53,500
withdraws its objection
to the German troops in Cuba.

1191
01:11:55,910 --> 01:11:57,839
<i>¡Insolente!
Ah?</i>

1192
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:00,340
<i>¡Maleducado!
¡Malparido!</i>

1193
01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:02,349
<i>Aah! Schweinhund!</i>

1194
01:12:05,150 --> 01:12:06,219
Gentlemen, now...

1195
01:12:06,220 --> 01:12:07,220
Gentlemen!

1196
01:12:09,990 --> 01:12:13,290
Gentlemen,
this is a peace conference!

1197
01:12:16,230 --> 01:12:17,529
Please.

1198
01:12:17,530 --> 01:12:21,369
Gentlemen!
This is a peace conference!

1199
01:12:21,370 --> 01:12:23,199
Gentlemen, this is...

1200
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:25,039
this is a peace con...!

1201
01:12:25,040 --> 01:12:26,040
You put him down!

1202
01:12:27,670 --> 01:12:29,710
Put that delegate... down.

1203
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,510
All right, I am
going to take names!

1204
01:12:42,520 --> 01:12:44,430
I'm tak... what?!
Get your hands off me.

1205
01:12:47,060 --> 01:12:48,129
On three.

1206
01:12:48,130 --> 01:12:49,960
And one, two, three, détente!

1207
01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:54,399
What would your mothers say?

1208
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:56,329
This is a peace conference!

1209
01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:58,199
I don't believe this.

1210
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:01,200
And those are supposed to be
responsible, grown men?

1211
01:13:01,210 --> 01:13:02,709
What I don't understand
is how Paradine

1212
01:13:02,710 --> 01:13:04,209
got all this to happen so fast.

1213
01:13:04,210 --> 01:13:06,710
Artie, I don't think Paradine
had anything to do with this.

1214
01:13:07,210 --> 01:13:08,720
I think the delegates
accomplished this

1215
01:13:08,721 --> 01:13:10,209
all by themselves.

1216
01:13:10,210 --> 01:13:12,210
Let's get out of here.
Now.

1217
01:13:14,890 --> 01:13:17,960
This is a peace conference,
damn it!

1218
01:13:20,260 --> 01:13:23,330
I say it's just too much
of a coincidence, that's all.

1219
01:13:23,830 --> 01:13:25,829
A.P. II wants to wreck
a peace conference,

1220
01:13:25,830 --> 01:13:27,329
and magically
the conference gets wrecked

1221
01:13:27,330 --> 01:13:29,329
even before it gets started.

1222
01:13:29,330 --> 01:13:31,330
Two childish men
can wreck anything,

1223
01:13:31,340 --> 01:13:33,839
including a peace conference,

1224
01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:35,610
by just opening up their mouths.

1225
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:37,909
I wouldn't have
believed it myself

1226
01:13:37,910 --> 01:13:39,909
if I hadn't seen it
with my own eyes.

1227
01:13:39,910 --> 01:13:40,910
What makes you so sure

1228
01:13:40,911 --> 01:13:42,420
that A.P. II had nothing
to do with it?

1229
01:13:42,421 --> 01:13:43,910
I don't think even A.P. II

1230
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,849
can put 6,000
German troops in Cuba.

1231
01:13:45,850 --> 01:13:47,919
You're probably right.

1232
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:50,359
It really doesn't matter who's
responsible, though, does it?

1233
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:53,189
The point is A.P.
II had exactly what he wanted out of this.

1234
01:13:53,190 --> 01:13:54,989
Wrong.

1235
01:13:54,990 --> 01:13:56,790
I didn't get what I wanted.

1236
01:13:57,030 --> 01:13:58,599
As it stands now, the...

1237
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,099
the nations are all improperly
aligned, don't you see?

1238
01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:03,599
It's Great Britain, it's France,

1239
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:06,510
it's Germany and Russia
against Spain and Italy.

1240
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:08,909
What kind of a war is that?

1241
01:14:08,910 --> 01:14:11,409
It would last
two weeks at the most.

1242
01:14:11,410 --> 01:14:14,309
Can't these devils
put a decent war together?!

1243
01:14:14,310 --> 01:14:16,709
You're not going to let
a little setback like that

1244
01:14:16,710 --> 01:14:17,710
stop you, now, are you?

1245
01:14:18,050 --> 01:14:19,619
Of course not.

1246
01:14:19,620 --> 01:14:21,619
Fall back on plan two.

1247
01:14:21,620 --> 01:14:25,560
You'd like to know what plan two
is, wouldn't you, Mr. West?

1248
01:14:25,890 --> 01:14:27,329
Not unless you want to tell us.

1249
01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:28,629
Well, I shall tell you.

1250
01:14:28,630 --> 01:14:31,059
You see what I've done?

1251
01:14:31,060 --> 01:14:34,569
Put the little bombs
in the various capitals, right?

1252
01:14:34,570 --> 01:14:36,340
In London, Paris,

1253
01:14:36,570 --> 01:14:38,640
Berlin, Moscow, Madrid,

1254
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:40,069
you see?

1255
01:14:40,070 --> 01:14:43,109
And of course, when they go off,
complete devastation.

1256
01:14:44,111 --> 01:14:45,909
My problem will be, of course,

1257
01:14:45,910 --> 01:14:49,120
whether to blame
the Germans for Paris

1258
01:14:49,410 --> 01:14:52,979
or Paris for Madrid
or Madrid for the Russians

1259
01:14:52,980 --> 01:14:55,480
or eradicate Berlin

1260
01:14:55,990 --> 01:14:57,960
and blame the English.

1261
01:14:58,390 --> 01:15:00,359
The possibilities are endless.

1262
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:03,159
What city are you going
to eliminate?

1263
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:06,099
Ah, Mr. West,

1264
01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,599
what a stunning figure of a man,

1265
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:11,099
what a great hero.

1266
01:15:11,100 --> 01:15:13,540
How well you did
in the snakepit,

1267
01:15:13,910 --> 01:15:15,810
thanks to your comrade,
Mr. Gordon.

1268
01:15:16,070 --> 01:15:19,970
Well, this will put some real
mettle into you, a real test!

1269
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:22,320
You shall look for
where the bombs

1270
01:15:22,750 --> 01:15:24,919
are in the various cities,

1271
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:28,289
and you have 24 hours
to find out.

1272
01:15:28,290 --> 01:15:30,290
Sounds fair enough.

1273
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:38,030
Please, Mr. West, rather
a feeble attempt to lock me in.

1274
01:15:40,260 --> 01:15:42,290
Don't be foolish.

1275
01:15:42,300 --> 01:15:44,200
Mm. Mm.

1276
01:15:47,540 --> 01:15:49,010
Mm.

1277
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:51,310
Watch quickly.

1278
01:15:52,610 --> 01:15:53,610
Bye-bye.

1279
01:15:57,580 --> 01:15:58,649
I got him, Artie!

1280
01:15:58,650 --> 01:16:00,149
I got him right here!

1281
01:16:00,150 --> 01:16:01,660
No! You got...!

1282
01:16:02,050 --> 01:16:03,510
Over here, boys.

1283
01:16:05,890 --> 01:16:09,459
I just don't leave myself
one exit.

1284
01:16:09,460 --> 01:16:11,629
Adios.

1285
01:16:16,330 --> 01:16:17,830
You go that way.
I'll go this way.

1286
01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:19,369
Artie, it's eight floors down.

1287
01:16:19,370 --> 01:16:21,880
He could push us off
any time he wanted to.

1288
01:16:21,881 --> 01:16:23,369
How do we find him?

1289
01:16:23,370 --> 01:16:24,870
I don't know.

1290
01:16:38,690 --> 01:16:40,689
A quarter after 9:00,

1291
01:16:40,690 --> 01:16:42,659
which gives us a little bit
under ten hours

1292
01:16:42,660 --> 01:16:44,699
to find out where he is,
what he's up to,

1293
01:16:44,700 --> 01:16:47,199
and then stop him.

1294
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,199
We may have some time to spare.

1295
01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:51,199
Oh, you'll forgive me if
I don't share your optimism.

1296
01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:54,709
To me, the whole thing
looks hopeless.

1297
01:16:54,710 --> 01:16:55,710
Maybe not, Artie.

1298
01:17:03,950 --> 01:17:05,519
Did you know
those girls were here?

1299
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:08,519
Not until about two
seconds before you did.

1300
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:10,519
Artie, if A.P. II
is gone,

1301
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:13,519
what are those two honeys
still doing here?

1302
01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:16,020
Why don't you go get a couple
bottles of champagne?

1303
01:17:16,030 --> 01:17:17,529
I'll find out what
room they're in,

1304
01:17:17,530 --> 01:17:19,529
and I'll meet you in the lobby.

1305
01:17:19,530 --> 01:17:21,030
Splendid idea.

1306
01:17:29,910 --> 01:17:31,479
But I can't, Jim.

1307
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,909
I can't tell you a thing.

1308
01:17:33,910 --> 01:17:36,479
Do you know what he'd do to us?

1309
01:17:36,480 --> 01:17:38,479
All right,

1310
01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:39,979
do you know what city he picked

1311
01:17:39,980 --> 01:17:41,480
and where he planted the bomb?

1312
01:17:41,990 --> 01:17:42,990
Yes.

1313
01:17:43,150 --> 01:17:44,210
Do you know how important it is

1314
01:17:44,220 --> 01:17:46,230
for us to find him
and to stop him?

1315
01:17:46,231 --> 01:17:48,220
Yes.

1316
01:17:48,230 --> 01:17:51,229
With the fate of the whole world
waiting in the balance,

1317
01:17:51,230 --> 01:17:55,229
what are you going to tell us?

1318
01:17:55,230 --> 01:17:56,230
Nothing.

1319
01:17:56,231 --> 01:17:58,230
Nothing?

1320
01:18:03,740 --> 01:18:06,739
I hate to resort
to this kind of method,

1321
01:18:06,740 --> 01:18:09,740
but with something
as important as this...

1322
01:18:09,750 --> 01:18:11,279
Where are we going?

1323
01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:12,449
Jim!

1324
01:18:12,450 --> 01:18:14,589
Artie, no interference.
I mean it.

1325
01:18:14,590 --> 01:18:15,660
I mean it, too, Jim.

1326
01:18:16,150 --> 01:18:17,080
No violence.

1327
01:18:17,090 --> 01:18:19,460
I'm going to do
what I have to do.

1328
01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:22,729
Okay, Daphne.

1329
01:18:22,730 --> 01:18:24,730
What are you going to do?

1330
01:18:36,240 --> 01:18:38,739
I won't talk.

1331
01:18:38,740 --> 01:18:40,740
I won't.

1332
01:18:57,360 --> 01:18:58,330
Artie.

1333
01:18:58,331 --> 01:19:00,869
Hmm?

1334
01:19:00,870 --> 01:19:02,399
Artie, come on, wake up.

1335
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:03,899
Oh.

1336
01:19:03,900 --> 01:19:06,369
Boy.

1337
01:19:06,370 --> 01:19:07,770
You never cease to amaze me.

1338
01:19:08,070 --> 01:19:09,139
How do you do it?

1339
01:19:09,140 --> 01:19:10,580
Artie, now is not the time.

1340
01:19:10,940 --> 01:19:13,009
Come on, come on,
how do you do it?

1341
01:19:13,010 --> 01:19:14,010
You can tell me.

1342
01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:15,349
I'll tell you later.

1343
01:19:15,350 --> 01:19:16,820
Let's get out of here.

1344
01:19:16,821 --> 01:19:18,879
12 hours in that room,

1345
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:21,680
you come out here
with all that get-up-and-go.

1346
01:19:21,950 --> 01:19:23,510
You'll have it, too,

1347
01:19:23,520 --> 01:19:25,530
when you find out
that the bomb is here

1348
01:19:25,531 --> 01:19:27,820
and set to go off at 9:00 a.m.

1349
01:19:27,830 --> 01:19:28,859
Here?!

1350
01:19:28,860 --> 01:19:29,860
You mean here, here?

1351
01:19:29,861 --> 01:19:31,800
No, no, I mean
here in Washington.

1352
01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:33,720
A.P. II never left.

1353
01:19:33,730 --> 01:19:36,235
Dr. Messenger has called
an emergency session

1354
01:19:36,236 --> 01:19:38,730
to try and get the delegates
to mend their differences.

1355
01:19:38,740 --> 01:19:41,210
A.P. II planted a bomb
in the State Department

1356
01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:43,709
set to go off
during the meeting.

1357
01:19:43,710 --> 01:19:45,210
That's less than an hour.

1358
01:19:45,610 --> 01:19:46,680
That's right.

1359
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:57,080
Gentlemen, I spent all evening
in shuttle diplomacy

1360
01:19:57,090 --> 01:20:00,589
going from one delegate's
room to the other,

1361
01:20:00,590 --> 01:20:03,600
begging them to come back
to the conference table.

1362
01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:06,099
Now you tell me you want me

1363
01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:08,599
to erase everything
I've accomplished?

1364
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:10,099
Uh-uh!

1365
01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:12,599
I am about to go down in history

1366
01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:15,600
as the greatest peacemaker
of all time!

1367
01:20:15,610 --> 01:20:17,609
Dr. Messenger,

1368
01:20:17,610 --> 01:20:19,609
if you don't cancel
that conference,

1369
01:20:19,610 --> 01:20:21,620
the only place you're going
is up in smoke.

1370
01:20:21,621 --> 01:20:26,579
Gentlemen, we must not
interfere with destiny.

1371
01:20:26,580 --> 01:20:29,080
But you'd better find that bomb,

1372
01:20:29,090 --> 01:20:34,429
or I will do such things to you
with Sanger and Schloiter

1373
01:20:34,430 --> 01:20:37,659
and Striethuntz and...

1374
01:20:37,660 --> 01:20:39,070
Go away.

1375
01:20:39,500 --> 01:20:43,569
And-and twist...

1376
01:20:47,070 --> 01:20:48,575
I don't know which one
is sicker,

1377
01:20:48,576 --> 01:20:51,570
Professor Albert Paradine
or our own Dr. Messenger.

1378
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:03,080
If I tell you, will I
ever see you again?

1379
01:21:03,090 --> 01:21:05,059
I promise.

1380
01:21:05,060 --> 01:21:07,589
You swear?

1381
01:21:07,590 --> 01:21:08,590
I swear.

1382
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:14,399
The bomb is hidden underneath
the State Department building,

1383
01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:17,870
directly below the floor
of the conference room.

1384
01:21:23,140 --> 01:21:23,680
Thanks, Daphne.

1385
01:21:23,681 --> 01:21:25,970
I'm Yvonne.

1386
01:21:28,850 --> 01:21:30,350
Thanks, Yvonne.

1387
01:21:33,950 --> 01:21:36,290
Come on.

1388
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,219
Hey, Artie?

1389
01:22:06,220 --> 01:22:07,220
Hmm?

1390
01:22:07,221 --> 01:22:08,301
It's been nice knowin' you.

1391
01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,219
How much time do you think
we have left?

1392
01:22:11,220 --> 01:22:14,590
I don't think I can reach
my watch to tell.

1393
01:22:16,890 --> 01:22:20,960
James, my boy,
we're absolute fools

1394
01:22:20,970 --> 01:22:22,799
to trust Yvonne
and Daphne like we did.

1395
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:26,139
Do these hulks realize
they're gonna go up

1396
01:22:26,140 --> 01:22:27,210
with the rest of us?

1397
01:22:27,211 --> 01:22:29,700
Probably not.

1398
01:22:29,710 --> 01:22:32,679
Paradine just thinks
of 'em as hulks.

1399
01:22:32,680 --> 01:22:34,710
Incredible.

1400
01:22:52,060 --> 01:22:54,020
Thank you for coming back,
Alexei.

1401
01:22:54,030 --> 01:22:55,029
Hah?

1402
01:22:55,030 --> 01:22:56,560
Thank you
for coming back, Alexei.

1403
01:22:56,570 --> 01:22:57,570
Ya.

1404
01:22:57,571 --> 01:22:59,039
Dr. Messenger?

1405
01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:00,539
<i>Bon giorno.</i>

1406
01:23:00,540 --> 01:23:02,040
<i>Un gran placer estar aquí.</i>

1407
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:08,870
It's been a broken
hand in the cause of peace.

1408
01:23:09,450 --> 01:23:09,950
<i>Gut Morgen...</i>

1409
01:23:10,450 --> 01:23:11,420
<i>Morgen.
Herr Messenger.</i>

1410
01:23:11,421 --> 01:23:13,850
<i>Encantado otra vez.</i>

1411
01:23:14,350 --> 01:23:16,860
Yes, <i>gracias.</i>

1412
01:23:17,820 --> 01:23:20,789
I am sorry.
Thank you for returning.

1413
01:23:20,790 --> 01:23:23,729
I'm sorry.

1414
01:23:23,730 --> 01:23:25,729
It is in the cause of peace.

1415
01:23:25,730 --> 01:23:27,530
Funny little man.

1416
01:24:23,420 --> 01:24:25,930
Thank God you're both all right.

1417
01:24:26,290 --> 01:24:27,859
What are you two doing here?

1418
01:24:27,860 --> 01:24:28,940
Pangs of conscience, maybe?

1419
01:24:29,260 --> 01:24:30,540
Professor Paradine
made us do it.

1420
01:24:30,830 --> 01:24:32,829
The bomb's in a briefcase
in the conference room,

1421
01:24:32,830 --> 01:24:34,390
and it's about to go off
any minute now.

1422
01:24:48,910 --> 01:24:52,810
Gentlemen, let us put yesterday
behind us.

1423
01:24:53,120 --> 01:25:00,119
In the spirit of brotherhood,
let us forge a shining peace.

1424
01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:05,690
But first, let us bow our heads
in memory of the security guard

1425
01:25:05,700 --> 01:25:10,170
strangled by our distinguished
colleague from Belgium.

1426
01:25:15,140 --> 01:25:18,239
Gentlemen, there's a bomb set
to go off in one of your cases!

1427
01:25:21,750 --> 01:25:23,420
I said stay!

1428
01:25:25,480 --> 01:25:28,440
Please, please check every one
of your briefcases

1429
01:25:28,450 --> 01:25:29,660
as quickly as possible.

1430
01:25:29,661 --> 01:25:31,480
<i>Una bomba.</i>

1431
01:25:32,990 --> 01:25:34,430
Toshiro Mifune's.

1432
01:25:34,790 --> 01:25:36,329
<i>Mon dieu.</i>

1433
01:25:36,330 --> 01:25:37,759
Hey, that's my teddy bear.

1434
01:25:37,760 --> 01:25:40,500
It is not here, but
this is not my case.

1435
01:25:40,800 --> 01:25:43,329
That's my briefcase!
<i>¿Que es esto?</i>

1436
01:25:43,330 --> 01:25:44,830
This is a gift to my wife.

1437
01:25:45,340 --> 01:25:46,839
I mean, she loves
American underwear.

1438
01:25:46,840 --> 01:25:49,809
Souvenirs.

1439
01:25:49,810 --> 01:25:50,640
There's no bomb.

1440
01:25:50,641 --> 01:25:53,009
I've checked all
their bags. Nothing.

1441
01:25:53,010 --> 01:25:54,509
Except Messenger's.

1442
01:25:54,510 --> 01:25:56,509
What are you doing?

1443
01:25:56,510 --> 01:25:58,010
There's a bomb set to go off.

1444
01:25:58,020 --> 01:25:59,519
There is no bomb
in my briefcase.

1445
01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:00,520
Give me the key!

1446
01:26:00,521 --> 01:26:03,020
You interrupted me.

1447
01:26:29,110 --> 01:26:30,609
I can't believe it.

1448
01:26:30,610 --> 01:26:33,510
You're not the two hopeless
incompetents I thought you were.

1449
01:26:33,850 --> 01:26:35,889
You know that bomb
may go off at any minute?

1450
01:26:35,890 --> 01:26:38,760
Yes.
I set the timer myself.

1451
01:26:39,060 --> 01:26:41,429
And you're just gonna sit there
and go up with the rest of us?

1452
01:26:41,430 --> 01:26:42,729
Hardly.

1453
01:26:42,730 --> 01:26:44,729
Found out something
rather interesting:

1454
01:26:44,730 --> 01:26:48,729
that when I'm invisible,
my body changes entirely.

1455
01:26:48,730 --> 01:26:50,729
There's obviously
two sticks of dynamite.

1456
01:26:50,730 --> 01:26:52,730
Put those in my hands,
have them go off,

1457
01:26:52,740 --> 01:26:54,139
and I'm not even scratched.

1458
01:26:54,140 --> 01:26:57,880
I look forward to standing in
the middle of the holocaust.

1459
01:26:58,140 --> 01:27:00,879
You two gentlemen will be in
the middle of Washington.

1460
01:27:00,880 --> 01:27:02,949
Boom! Gone!

1461
01:27:02,950 --> 01:27:05,949
Myself, not one hair mussed.

1462
01:27:05,950 --> 01:27:10,449
Well, gentlemen,
see you in eternity.

1463
01:27:14,960 --> 01:27:16,959
Something's wrong.
I'm not invisible.

1464
01:27:16,960 --> 01:27:19,259
Help me! Help me!

1465
01:27:19,260 --> 01:27:20,260
You do something.

1466
01:27:20,500 --> 01:27:23,069
You built it.
Defuse it.

1467
01:27:23,070 --> 01:27:26,510
I can't.
It would take too long.

1468
01:27:30,170 --> 01:27:32,170
You pull yourself together
and defuse that bomb.

1469
01:27:32,180 --> 01:27:33,180
You hear me?

1470
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:34,770
I-I can't.
I'm frightened.

1471
01:27:34,780 --> 01:27:37,280
I order you
to disconnect that bomb.

1472
01:27:39,050 --> 01:27:40,620
Uh-huh, yeah.

1473
01:28:30,630 --> 01:28:31,990
Well, here goes nothing.

1474
01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:42,640
Thank God!

1475
01:28:42,650 --> 01:28:46,649
I'm alive, alive!

1476
01:28:46,650 --> 01:28:48,649
There we are.

1477
01:28:48,650 --> 01:28:49,649
Edney.

1478
01:28:49,650 --> 01:28:51,610
Now you may disappear
whenever you wish.

1479
01:28:52,020 --> 01:28:55,089
No, you leave him alone.

1480
01:28:55,090 --> 01:28:57,089
He belongs to me.

1481
01:28:57,090 --> 01:28:59,959
We must close
the un-visibility gap.

1482
01:28:59,960 --> 01:29:03,430
Colonel Edney, you are still out
of your jurisdiction.

1483
01:29:03,730 --> 01:29:05,799
Oh, bother.

1484
01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:07,130
Take him.

1485
01:29:07,570 --> 01:29:09,139
He's yours.

1486
01:29:09,140 --> 01:29:12,650
Honestly, I've had enough of you
colonials to last me a lifetime.

1487
01:29:12,651 --> 01:29:15,640
I'm going back to <i>Great Britain
for good.</i>

1488
01:29:15,650 --> 01:29:17,149
My regards to Her Majesty.

1489
01:29:17,150 --> 01:29:19,149
Really.

1490
01:29:19,150 --> 01:29:24,520
Well, gentlemen, go away.

1491
01:29:29,090 --> 01:29:34,159
Now you evil,
brilliant fellow, you

1492
01:29:34,160 --> 01:29:35,960
come along with me.

1493
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:41,039
We got secrets to share.

1494
01:29:41,040 --> 01:29:45,539
It would have been
such a beautiful moment,

1495
01:29:45,540 --> 01:29:48,040
standing in the center
of the city,

1496
01:29:48,050 --> 01:29:53,549
complete devastation
all around me,

1497
01:29:53,550 --> 01:29:57,049
bodies falling like rag dolls,

1498
01:29:57,050 --> 01:30:02,950
work gloves,
horseless carriages. Pity.

1499
01:30:03,260 --> 01:30:06,829
No, there'll be another chance.

1500
01:30:06,830 --> 01:30:08,370
No, there won't.

1501
01:30:08,800 --> 01:30:11,869
Yes, there will. Yes.

1502
01:30:11,870 --> 01:30:12,870
Come on.

1503
01:30:13,270 --> 01:30:14,839
Bye-bye.

1504
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:17,339
You've got your papa's eyes.

1505
01:30:17,340 --> 01:30:19,839
Oh, you're so...

1506
01:30:24,350 --> 01:30:27,819
Artie...

1507
01:30:27,820 --> 01:30:31,860
maybe we <i>are getting too old
for this sort of thing.</i>

1508
01:30:42,870 --> 01:30:46,369
What happened?
Where are you?

1509
01:30:46,370 --> 01:30:47,869
I'm right here.
Where are you?

1510
01:30:47,870 --> 01:30:48,869
Right here.

1511
01:30:48,870 --> 01:30:49,870
But where?

1512
01:30:49,871 --> 01:30:51,870
Here, handcuffed to you.

1513
01:30:52,380 --> 01:30:54,280
We're un-visible.

1514
01:30:56,710 --> 01:30:58,210
James?
Hmm?

1515
01:30:58,220 --> 01:31:00,719
I think I got this thing
working again.

1516
01:31:00,720 --> 01:31:02,719
Let me have that thing, Artie.

1517
01:31:02,720 --> 01:31:03,720
Sure.

1518
01:31:05,320 --> 01:31:06,319
James!

1519
01:31:06,320 --> 01:31:08,320
Now it's going to be lost
in the Potomac forever.

1520
01:31:08,330 --> 01:31:09,330
Good.

1521
01:31:09,331 --> 01:31:12,299
But...

1522
01:31:12,300 --> 01:31:14,130
Why'd you do that?

1523
01:31:27,180 --> 01:31:29,249
Washington is so lovely,

1524
01:31:29,250 --> 01:31:32,749
Daphne and I have decided
to stay another week.

1525
01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:34,249
Well, splendid.

1526
01:31:34,250 --> 01:31:36,749
Mr. West.

1527
01:31:36,750 --> 01:31:37,810
Who said that?

1528
01:31:37,820 --> 01:31:40,919
I did, Dr. Messenger.

1529
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,850
Where is my activator?

1530
01:31:43,160 --> 01:31:45,229
The little thing that
goes bleep-bloop?

1531
01:31:45,230 --> 01:31:47,065
Well, I threw it in the river.

1532
01:31:47,066 --> 01:31:49,229
It shouldn't be
too hard to find.

1533
01:31:49,230 --> 01:31:51,290
I think I'm going to faint.

1534
01:31:51,300 --> 01:31:54,040
You do,
and I will kick you to death.

1535
01:31:54,340 --> 01:31:57,609
Don't yank me so hard.
You're hurting me.

1536
01:31:57,610 --> 01:31:59,679
I'll yank your arm out
by the roots

1537
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:02,609
if you don't keep up with me
from now on.

1538
01:32:02,610 --> 01:32:05,640
James, don't you think that
falls under the heading

1539
01:32:05,650 --> 01:32:07,685
of cruel and inhuman punishment,

1540
01:32:07,686 --> 01:32:09,680
being invisible and handcuffed

1541
01:32:09,690 --> 01:32:12,289
to Albert Paradine
for the rest of your life?

1542
01:32:12,290 --> 01:32:14,859
I think they deserve each other.

1543
01:32:14,860 --> 01:32:17,289
You may be right.

1544
01:32:19,930 --> 01:32:23,499
I've never been so
cold in my life.

1545
01:32:23,500 --> 01:32:24,500
Can't we rest a minute?

1546
01:32:24,501 --> 01:32:27,999
I'll never rest until we find
that gizmo of yours.

1547
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:31,470
Here we go again.

1548
01:32:31,480 --> 01:32:32,480
No, please.

1549
01:32:32,481 --> 01:32:35,509
I can't hold my breath
as long as you can.

1550
01:32:35,510 --> 01:32:39,020
Then you'd better learn
to live without air.

1551
01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:55,400
The only way to fly.

1552
01:33:04,270 --> 01:33:05,839
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

1553
01:33:05,840 --> 01:33:08,340
This is Robert T.
"Skinny" Malone IV,

1554
01:33:08,350 --> 01:33:11,349
present-day custodian of the
files of the Secret Service.

1555
01:33:11,350 --> 01:33:14,349
When one delves
into the ancient files,

1556
01:33:14,350 --> 01:33:17,360
one is struck by the
improbability of these cases

1557
01:33:17,361 --> 01:33:19,850
of James West
and Artemus Gordon.

1558
01:33:19,860 --> 01:33:24,859
The idea that a man could become
invisible is obviously absurd.

1559
01:33:26,360 --> 01:33:29,760
My apologies, and good night.

1560
01:34:01,730 --> 01:34:02,740
<b>†</b>